我从来没有想过，因为想吃某些东西，想到哭了。现在我才想起，我上个星期回家，忘记吃，也没有吃到云吞和水饺…… 我要回家，可以吗？为了吃这个，回家，也太好笑。哈哈。
突然间，很想家。想下想下……眼泪就掉下来了。或许就像他们说的，眼睛大大的孩子，眼泪最浅，最容易流泪哭泣。除了想吃的，我更想吃，因为最糟糕的事情不是你的肚子饿了，是你肚子饿了，却不知道要吃什么。或许，有时候，我们不是不会照顾自己，是不想照顾自己而留个借口撒娇要别人顾。
有些人，也因此给个机会让别人触动你心。谁知道？ 可能，爱和疼惜就是贵于分享吃的，吃的时候想到他，确保他吃饭，而不是饿的，还会特地花上时间为他准备吃的。
想家了……我想家了……真的想回家吃一顿我不用想却早已准备好的晚餐。
Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
亲耳听见亲口说的质疑心酸
话是最简单的礼物，可以是如心的刀锋，也可以是如心的感动。它，真实得美。如果你的脑袋没有这么想过，你的心也没有这么考量过，你的嘴巴会接过你的脑袋和心脏而把话在有意或无意中说出来？
这天，我亲耳听见他人亲口对我说出他的质疑。说真的，听见耳里，我的心疼了。我知道我有多着急和不冷静，但却告诉自己我更要表现格外的平静，就装作若无其事。其实，我是一个不爱说谎的人，我相信诚实很受伤，却有着它的美。但此时此刻，我不可以不选择说谎，因为诚实的代价是我负担不起的。
他说，他要我帮忙按键解码…… 他说，他不明白，也想不通，更无法沟通…… 他说，他做噩梦了…… 他说，他梦见了…… 他说，他不再说什么。
我想问，我想问，我真的想问……我想问这个，我想问那个，但是我就是开不了口让他知道……我真的开不了口。
我说，真诚会变质？守护会是永远？永远有截至和尽头的时候？我不明白，我无法接受，但或许这就是事实。可能我还年轻，我还需要更多的磨练。但是，给我，我还敢去尝试吗？坦白说，我怕，或许我不敢了。除非，真的遇见让我学会相信的可恋人。
允许我自私，就等待东窗事发那一天吧…… 纸是包不住火的。我尽量了。我更是累了。我真的无能，无法解决一切的问题。我就是如此渺小而已……我就是那么没有用。对不起。对不起。真的对不起。
我不会原谅对不起的人事物，因为你的自私从来没有想过他人的存在，因此才造成如今的伤害和结局。不是我不原谅，不是我小气，是我原谅不下你所制造的伤害，还有我忘记不了那受伤的疼痛。我拜托你，我不打动我的心和情，不让我觉得同情可怜。我是真的爱你的，真的，我比谁都懂。如果你真的想要有人爱你，恋你，疼你，在乎在意你，请你做得让人值得爱你，恋你，疼你，在乎在意你。我愿意无条件和回报率这样做。
不管我多爱你，我更能感受另一个无条件疼我的人所告诉我的心酸。当他亲口告诉我那股心酸，你亲耳听到……我的心更不是滋味。
这天，我亲耳听见他人亲口对我说出他的质疑。说真的，听见耳里，我的心疼了。我知道我有多着急和不冷静，但却告诉自己我更要表现格外的平静，就装作若无其事。其实，我是一个不爱说谎的人，我相信诚实很受伤，却有着它的美。但此时此刻，我不可以不选择说谎，因为诚实的代价是我负担不起的。
他说，他要我帮忙按键解码…… 他说，他不明白，也想不通，更无法沟通…… 他说，他做噩梦了…… 他说，他梦见了…… 他说，他不再说什么。
我想问，我想问，我真的想问……我想问这个，我想问那个，但是我就是开不了口让他知道……我真的开不了口。
我说，真诚会变质？守护会是永远？永远有截至和尽头的时候？我不明白，我无法接受，但或许这就是事实。可能我还年轻，我还需要更多的磨练。但是，给我，我还敢去尝试吗？坦白说，我怕，或许我不敢了。除非，真的遇见让我学会相信的可恋人。
允许我自私，就等待东窗事发那一天吧…… 纸是包不住火的。我尽量了。我更是累了。我真的无能，无法解决一切的问题。我就是如此渺小而已……我就是那么没有用。对不起。对不起。真的对不起。
我不会原谅对不起的人事物，因为你的自私从来没有想过他人的存在，因此才造成如今的伤害和结局。不是我不原谅，不是我小气，是我原谅不下你所制造的伤害，还有我忘记不了那受伤的疼痛。我拜托你，我不打动我的心和情，不让我觉得同情可怜。我是真的爱你的，真的，我比谁都懂。如果你真的想要有人爱你，恋你，疼你，在乎在意你，请你做得让人值得爱你，恋你，疼你，在乎在意你。我愿意无条件和回报率这样做。
不管我多爱你，我更能感受另一个无条件疼我的人所告诉我的心酸。当他亲口告诉我那股心酸，你亲耳听到……我的心更不是滋味。
4.30am 的晚上
有人说，夜最美，特别宁静，足以能够让你静下一整天繁忙的心跳，好好思考一些你需要冷静的问题。也因此，很多人爱上夜的美，明知道熬夜不好，却不舍得入眠。有人说，夜太清静，静的让人心寒和胡思乱想。这时候的人最脆弱，总是被情绪击退，扰他人的心静，让人无法入眠。也因此，很多都在晚上会有失眠的捆牢。
不同的人，总有自己一套不同的说法和故事。
有时候，我真的很难不相信，狗儿虽然无法明白或听懂人类的语言，但他们总有自己的方法去了解和明白人们的心和情。他们真的知道你在想什么的，就算你没有说什么。他就像真的还会人们懂得的读心术，在你还没有出声之前，或许他已经帮你开口了。我从不怀疑，但这个4.30am的晚上，我更是见证了。
我家有一只狗，叫做girl girl。我和他很亲，甚至到身边说我就像疯子地和狗说人话。太可爱好笑……以前，在我没有离开家到外面生活的日子，大多数的时间都是我在照顾他。或许因为这样，她也特别听我的话。就算我现在大多数的时间到外上课，甚至到外乱跑，没有什么时间在家或给他，感觉他还是一样记得我和宠我。
这个4.30am的晚上，遇到真的不知怎么反应和回答的问题……我真的不会……girl girl好像真的懂我不会答，她吠个不停，好像帮我回答似的。不管我怎样安抚或叫他安静，他还是汪汪叫了几声，我理所当然地叫他静下来而不用正面回答我那不知怎么回答的问题。问题就这样飘飘然地飘了过去，她也静了下来，继续躺在我身边入睡。我笑了，突然我觉得，这小东西还真的很疼惜我，也很懂我。最乖的，还是girl girl。
这个4.30am的晚上，真的让我失色害怕……有些东西不再是你会不会和能不能，而是你可不可以接纳和负责当下的结果结局……我按下去，就真的完蛋没有回头了。
谁可以叫我怎么做？
不同的人，总有自己一套不同的说法和故事。
有时候，我真的很难不相信，狗儿虽然无法明白或听懂人类的语言，但他们总有自己的方法去了解和明白人们的心和情。他们真的知道你在想什么的，就算你没有说什么。他就像真的还会人们懂得的读心术，在你还没有出声之前，或许他已经帮你开口了。我从不怀疑，但这个4.30am的晚上，我更是见证了。
我家有一只狗，叫做girl girl。我和他很亲，甚至到身边说我就像疯子地和狗说人话。太可爱好笑……以前，在我没有离开家到外面生活的日子，大多数的时间都是我在照顾他。或许因为这样，她也特别听我的话。就算我现在大多数的时间到外上课，甚至到外乱跑，没有什么时间在家或给他，感觉他还是一样记得我和宠我。
这个4.30am的晚上，遇到真的不知怎么反应和回答的问题……我真的不会……girl girl好像真的懂我不会答，她吠个不停，好像帮我回答似的。不管我怎样安抚或叫他安静，他还是汪汪叫了几声，我理所当然地叫他静下来而不用正面回答我那不知怎么回答的问题。问题就这样飘飘然地飘了过去，她也静了下来，继续躺在我身边入睡。我笑了，突然我觉得，这小东西还真的很疼惜我，也很懂我。最乖的，还是girl girl。
这个4.30am的晚上，真的让我失色害怕……有些东西不再是你会不会和能不能，而是你可不可以接纳和负责当下的结果结局……我按下去，就真的完蛋没有回头了。
谁可以叫我怎么做？
Sunday, October 19, 2014
waiting and enjoying with a cup of bitter cuppocino
When i opened my eyes in the morning, i still remember what i was thinking about on yesterday. There is two things that i wish to do it for others, not for myself. But, i have concern about myself on how much it mean for me. End up, i still choose to try my best to complete this even i have a bad idea to be selfish and ignore this before. It still mean something for me and i know about it.
I know who around me try to fulfill what i wish and there are still have somebody love and care me, especially my true friends. By heart, i know who love me and care me even they never tell me that. This is because action can show and prove everything. I'm not alone. I have friends. I know.
i have a difficulty to make decision, may be that is my weakness, but i feel everyone should be treated as good as u can, just like what u hope other on urself. I always try my best on this because i know and i enjoy the feeling when somebody did something for u on what u wish for even u did not mention about it. The feeling of touched is indescribable and awesome.
At the end, i still put it as priority more than i stay at home to wait for my mom's dinner. I call to my family and inform them. Although I know it may not be completed, but i hope to try, non matter how other think of it or may be they never care it as much as i'm. Who know they still care it in the way that u don't know about it?
I sit at here and i'm having a cup of bitter cuppocinio. I feel it is bitter and no nice as i like even i have expected it, but i still order and enjoy it. I'm not a coffee lover, i may have some bad symptom like headache after i drink coffee, but sometime i like to have a cup of coffee. I'm not only enjoy the drink, i think i enjoy my mood at that moment.
Life still go on. Like what other said, sometime we no need to plan, because it will happen at the moment like what god has planned on it. Non matter how it is, u still gain something good.
I know who around me try to fulfill what i wish and there are still have somebody love and care me, especially my true friends. By heart, i know who love me and care me even they never tell me that. This is because action can show and prove everything. I'm not alone. I have friends. I know.
i have a difficulty to make decision, may be that is my weakness, but i feel everyone should be treated as good as u can, just like what u hope other on urself. I always try my best on this because i know and i enjoy the feeling when somebody did something for u on what u wish for even u did not mention about it. The feeling of touched is indescribable and awesome.
At the end, i still put it as priority more than i stay at home to wait for my mom's dinner. I call to my family and inform them. Although I know it may not be completed, but i hope to try, non matter how other think of it or may be they never care it as much as i'm. Who know they still care it in the way that u don't know about it?
I sit at here and i'm having a cup of bitter cuppocinio. I feel it is bitter and no nice as i like even i have expected it, but i still order and enjoy it. I'm not a coffee lover, i may have some bad symptom like headache after i drink coffee, but sometime i like to have a cup of coffee. I'm not only enjoy the drink, i think i enjoy my mood at that moment.
Life still go on. Like what other said, sometime we no need to plan, because it will happen at the moment like what god has planned on it. Non matter how it is, u still gain something good.
Friday, October 17, 2014
teach me to how to know what i like
It was tough to live under people's expectations. Today, it remind the pain which i forget it long time ago. I thought I have let it go and accept the result which have been arranged. But, I'm wrong and it is not until someone remind me it agian and again. Well, i know actually i just buried it in my heart.
I always feel im too naive like a kid. I should be more realistic or selfish like other who perform in the real life. Sorry to use "selfish" for the description if i hurt u because of this. I'm apologize here. It is not selfish, it is ur effort to achieve what target u want. Am i right? Yes, I am.
Someone told me, criticism is not only a bad things, it can be a good things as well. This is because it is good improve ourselves and we know which is our weakness in some circumstances. They tend to emphasize more on the outcomes at the end of the story, then they are overlooking the process, especially on how hard the person have tried in front of the story.
Same go to the expectation. People always expect something from someone, it is normal case and it happen in all the time. It is very ironic. U may feel hurt for those who hear about it. But, it ask to me to turn my mind, what people are expecting on u, do it mean they are envy on what u have and what u can do on it? That is why, expectation come to us.
With my effort, I know I not achieve everything, but i know i achieved something. And, the "something" may be is what other looking for. People may envy or jealous on u non matter how best u try to perform and make everyone happy.
Well, sometime, i really hope to say, i need a heart talk. I need someone to show me where i should go and what decision i should make. I hope to walk out from a person sees me as so one dimensional. Do i seeking for recognition? Well, i think i am seeking for trust and courage on myself.
i hope to believe and make sure i can achieve something, but it not come with a mind to ask how hard it is to be achieved before i try it. When u believe on something, i believe it can be happened. Well, i think it is the time for me to be brave and decide where i want walk to.
But, honestly, i have no idea where i want to go and what i like on it. How to decide the direction or make any decision? THAT'S IS THE MAIN PROBLEM.
I need a kind mentor to guide me and provide me some training, especially on testing myself about what i like or what i want, and also how to make a decision.
I always feel im too naive like a kid. I should be more realistic or selfish like other who perform in the real life. Sorry to use "selfish" for the description if i hurt u because of this. I'm apologize here. It is not selfish, it is ur effort to achieve what target u want. Am i right? Yes, I am.
Someone told me, criticism is not only a bad things, it can be a good things as well. This is because it is good improve ourselves and we know which is our weakness in some circumstances. They tend to emphasize more on the outcomes at the end of the story, then they are overlooking the process, especially on how hard the person have tried in front of the story.
Same go to the expectation. People always expect something from someone, it is normal case and it happen in all the time. It is very ironic. U may feel hurt for those who hear about it. But, it ask to me to turn my mind, what people are expecting on u, do it mean they are envy on what u have and what u can do on it? That is why, expectation come to us.
With my effort, I know I not achieve everything, but i know i achieved something. And, the "something" may be is what other looking for. People may envy or jealous on u non matter how best u try to perform and make everyone happy.
Well, sometime, i really hope to say, i need a heart talk. I need someone to show me where i should go and what decision i should make. I hope to walk out from a person sees me as so one dimensional. Do i seeking for recognition? Well, i think i am seeking for trust and courage on myself.
i hope to believe and make sure i can achieve something, but it not come with a mind to ask how hard it is to be achieved before i try it. When u believe on something, i believe it can be happened. Well, i think it is the time for me to be brave and decide where i want walk to.
But, honestly, i have no idea where i want to go and what i like on it. How to decide the direction or make any decision? THAT'S IS THE MAIN PROBLEM.
I need a kind mentor to guide me and provide me some training, especially on testing myself about what i like or what i want, and also how to make a decision.
Someone told me, and i ask myself to please remember :
U can't satisfy everyone. But trust urself. U need to first try do something that u never done before. The world is weird. Once u get into comfort zone, u will be very hard to get out from it. Many kind of ppl out there, sometimes its not u must make everyone happy
U can't satisfy everyone. But trust urself. U need to first try do something that u never done before. The world is weird. Once u get into comfort zone, u will be very hard to get out from it. Many kind of ppl out there, sometimes its not u must make everyone happy
Thursday, October 16, 2014
哭着睡醒… 比吓醒更恐怖………
我从来没有想过什么是哭着睡醒的感觉，我觉得我不会有那么戏剧化的经历。但是不知道什么时候，我真的体验到这种戏剧化的感受，张开眼睛的时候，我的眼角是湿的，泪是大滴大滴自动地留下，还是停不下来的那一种感觉。当下的感觉很平静，没有格外的害怕或伤心，就想不停地流泪哭醒着……
这次应该是我活了那么多年以来少之又少的第3次。这种哭着醒却不知道为什么哭泣的感觉，是比被吓醒还要让人感觉害怕和毛骨悚然，因为你根本不知道为什么自己在哭泣……
今天，在印象中的第三次哭着醒发生了。张开眼睛的时候，泪水还没有贸然而出，之后的两秒钟，它大滴大滴留下来了。这次，我记得我梦见什么，我更加心疼地哭着。其实，这是用字眼难以形容的感觉，当下其实那股心疼却没有到我想流泪哭泣的程度，但泪水好像自动滑下……
思考和犹豫了30分钟，我还是决定拿起电话致电回家。或许，像妈妈告诉我的，近期的压力太大所造成的，不要想太多。
我梦见自己，我快坐牢了。梦里的朋友，我没有看过，但他们却在当时告诉我，他们帮不了我，为了局面，必须牺牲我，就像电影里的卧底感觉一样，在做探视。里面的我感觉，根本不是我的错或我需要承担的背负，但为求当中的探测，我愿意甚至沉默接受。当下的我，还没有什么感觉。
踏出那商量的房门，我看到了妈妈和阿姨。走到妈妈前，我还是一样平静的脸。妈妈抓着我的手，说……他没有足够的基金保释我，现有的钱只足够把我带离监牢，但还是不足够，我还是必须在警察局的牢房里带上一天，我还是会留下被关和坐牢记录。
当下我哭了……我看大妈妈很紧张，哭得很无助……因为妈妈和阿姨在里头让我感觉他们的心疼，疼到我也痛了……我的前途就这样没有了，好好一个大学毕业生，才刚毕业，什么都还没有开始搓，就这样完了……留下了案底……
现在，我回想：真的心疼和爱你的人，是想尽办法让你不要哭泣的。
里头的妈妈一直和我道歉，说她的不足和没有足够的款项……还说，没关系，没什么大不了，没有人相信你，妈妈相信你，我知道你，不管别人或全世界怎么想。你还是我的宝贝女儿。
妈妈，如果是我心甘情愿为工作这么做，却没法对你坦诚，让你心无比的疼了……对不起。你还是一样，一直一直包容我的叛逆和决定。你真的很爱我。我相信，不管是梦或不是梦，你一定会是这样做。真的心疼和爱你的人，真的是想尽办法让你不要哭泣的。
那句 “我知道和我相信” 比什么都赢入我心。最强大的力量不是屡战屡败再站起，而是你相信和一直相信，知道你完成和套现。被捧在掌心疼惜和相信的感觉，最好最好了。
哭着睡醒… 比吓醒更恐怖………
这次应该是我活了那么多年以来少之又少的第3次。这种哭着醒却不知道为什么哭泣的感觉，是比被吓醒还要让人感觉害怕和毛骨悚然，因为你根本不知道为什么自己在哭泣……
今天，在印象中的第三次哭着醒发生了。张开眼睛的时候，泪水还没有贸然而出，之后的两秒钟，它大滴大滴留下来了。这次，我记得我梦见什么，我更加心疼地哭着。其实，这是用字眼难以形容的感觉，当下其实那股心疼却没有到我想流泪哭泣的程度，但泪水好像自动滑下……
思考和犹豫了30分钟，我还是决定拿起电话致电回家。或许，像妈妈告诉我的，近期的压力太大所造成的，不要想太多。
我梦见自己，我快坐牢了。梦里的朋友，我没有看过，但他们却在当时告诉我，他们帮不了我，为了局面，必须牺牲我，就像电影里的卧底感觉一样，在做探视。里面的我感觉，根本不是我的错或我需要承担的背负，但为求当中的探测，我愿意甚至沉默接受。当下的我，还没有什么感觉。
踏出那商量的房门，我看到了妈妈和阿姨。走到妈妈前，我还是一样平静的脸。妈妈抓着我的手，说……他没有足够的基金保释我，现有的钱只足够把我带离监牢，但还是不足够，我还是必须在警察局的牢房里带上一天，我还是会留下被关和坐牢记录。
当下我哭了……我看大妈妈很紧张，哭得很无助……因为妈妈和阿姨在里头让我感觉他们的心疼，疼到我也痛了……我的前途就这样没有了，好好一个大学毕业生，才刚毕业，什么都还没有开始搓，就这样完了……留下了案底……
现在，我回想：真的心疼和爱你的人，是想尽办法让你不要哭泣的。
里头的妈妈一直和我道歉，说她的不足和没有足够的款项……还说，没关系，没什么大不了，没有人相信你，妈妈相信你，我知道你，不管别人或全世界怎么想。你还是我的宝贝女儿。
妈妈，如果是我心甘情愿为工作这么做，却没法对你坦诚，让你心无比的疼了……对不起。你还是一样，一直一直包容我的叛逆和决定。你真的很爱我。我相信，不管是梦或不是梦，你一定会是这样做。真的心疼和爱你的人，真的是想尽办法让你不要哭泣的。
那句 “我知道和我相信” 比什么都赢入我心。最强大的力量不是屡战屡败再站起，而是你相信和一直相信，知道你完成和套现。被捧在掌心疼惜和相信的感觉，最好最好了。
哭着睡醒… 比吓醒更恐怖………
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Be soft. U are responsible to treat people good no matter how.
Sometime, talk dont too shape. People don't like. Soft a bit. Boy and girl also happy. Tihs have to learn for u. Because some time u talk too shape, people feel not comfortable. Talk sofft always can tipu orang. Make them happy. When they happy and u will feel better. This will benefit both sides. If anything they willing to help also. Because they feel u not in their gang so they not connected well with u. Have to join them more. Ya. Put urself soft. Talk soft.
我跟你讲，这招很好用的，很好骗人的。
U are responsible to treat people good no matter how.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Senior，congratulations！happy graduation！
突然觉得自己和可悲，不再用可怜来形容自己，可怜是拿到同情的。但我不觉得我可以拿到同情或我值得被同情。
我到底是不是选错，也做错了？为什么如果我错了，却没有愿意主动拉我一把？我心很沉痛。这不是我可以忍耐的沉重和沉闷，是一种发觉性的可悲，像是老人坐在一旁哭泣，什么经过的人都无能为力。就象现在，我只可以坐在四四方方的电脑前，对着自己的部落说话一样。
一小时的沉淀过后，我好多了。我必须成熟，承受和承担。这是我该负的责任，是我的举动才完成一切的游戏，游戏才有这样的发展和衍生，不管游戏怎么样了。就象我说过的，你把多少时间给了别人，别人就把多少时间给你……对，是我也没有把时间给了他们。
就像他告诉我的，好可怜，回到这里，没有人可以找或陪伴……他说，他的同学全部回来跑去喝茶，聚会和唱k，他不喜欢这些……他也不喜欢和他们一起……所以，现在的他都忙工作，专注于事业，麻醉自己，他也很享受……
而我呢？我常会回来这里写写，不是只因为发泄出闷气，虽然我是那种这里说说发泄完就没有的家伙。我喜欢记录下每件事情，我知道不管收获是好是坏，我总从中学会一些事，都有所收获，就像翻阅故事书一样。
这几天，大家都在忙毕业典礼的事情。 Senior自然忙打扮盛装出席，准备4年寒窗苦后的承认。 Junior 自然忙筹办和出席他们的毕业典礼，握手，礼物和诚信道谢。当然，我也不例外。虽然话是这么说，但是我应该算是例外。
大家成群地出席senior的庆典，看看senior的同时，也让自己给senior看看。我以为大家相约的时间就是时间，我错了。我看到大家都已经拍照聚会，此时此刻我发现唯有我不在相片里，我也不知道还有第二个相约的时间。一切都是我以为。我承认我错了，因为我都”以为“，却没有去求证。
心情像过山车掉入谷底…心都觉得自己可悲……我有这么不讨人喜欢吗？我有错吗？还是我错了？我不应该选择撤退，我应该继续守候？如果我坚持了热脸贴冷屁股的事，是不是就不一样的？不会有现在的烂心情？那谁承担和我如何承担过程的不好受？我的心太小了，我太小气了，我真的需要反省和一个导师的洗脑。
此时此刻，我发觉，原来坚持对别人好不是最糟糕的事情，别人不对你好也不是最心酸的问题……最心疼的是，你没有对别人好而伤了自己。
什么都不想说……什么也不想去思考和考量……只想在心里默说：“hey！congratulations！happy graduation！” 还有，加油！未来的路，还远着呢！不管遇见什么好的或不好的，记得，笑！给自己做一个最好的自己！还有，献上一个最真诚开心的笑容给他们看。=）
Senior，恭喜毕业了！还有，谢谢你们一路走来给我的指点和疼爱。谁在我脑海里，我比谁都清楚知道，更知道你们曾经给我的帮忙，劝告和分享。
如果早知是这么一回事……我就应该用室友当借口，因此去那里走一趟，看看一下……
（ 其实，我只想和我脑海里的他们，拍一张照片，为自己放上网络，标记一个可贵的故事……算了。 ）
我到底是不是选错，也做错了？为什么如果我错了，却没有愿意主动拉我一把？我心很沉痛。这不是我可以忍耐的沉重和沉闷，是一种发觉性的可悲，像是老人坐在一旁哭泣，什么经过的人都无能为力。就象现在，我只可以坐在四四方方的电脑前，对着自己的部落说话一样。
一小时的沉淀过后，我好多了。我必须成熟，承受和承担。这是我该负的责任，是我的举动才完成一切的游戏，游戏才有这样的发展和衍生，不管游戏怎么样了。就象我说过的，你把多少时间给了别人，别人就把多少时间给你……对，是我也没有把时间给了他们。
就像他告诉我的，好可怜，回到这里，没有人可以找或陪伴……他说，他的同学全部回来跑去喝茶，聚会和唱k，他不喜欢这些……他也不喜欢和他们一起……所以，现在的他都忙工作，专注于事业，麻醉自己，他也很享受……
而我呢？我常会回来这里写写，不是只因为发泄出闷气，虽然我是那种这里说说发泄完就没有的家伙。我喜欢记录下每件事情，我知道不管收获是好是坏，我总从中学会一些事，都有所收获，就像翻阅故事书一样。
这几天，大家都在忙毕业典礼的事情。 Senior自然忙打扮盛装出席，准备4年寒窗苦后的承认。 Junior 自然忙筹办和出席他们的毕业典礼，握手，礼物和诚信道谢。当然，我也不例外。虽然话是这么说，但是我应该算是例外。
大家成群地出席senior的庆典，看看senior的同时，也让自己给senior看看。我以为大家相约的时间就是时间，我错了。我看到大家都已经拍照聚会，此时此刻我发现唯有我不在相片里，我也不知道还有第二个相约的时间。一切都是我以为。我承认我错了，因为我都”以为“，却没有去求证。
心情像过山车掉入谷底…心都觉得自己可悲……我有这么不讨人喜欢吗？我有错吗？还是我错了？我不应该选择撤退，我应该继续守候？如果我坚持了热脸贴冷屁股的事，是不是就不一样的？不会有现在的烂心情？那谁承担和我如何承担过程的不好受？我的心太小了，我太小气了，我真的需要反省和一个导师的洗脑。
此时此刻，我发觉，原来坚持对别人好不是最糟糕的事情，别人不对你好也不是最心酸的问题……最心疼的是，你没有对别人好而伤了自己。
什么都不想说……什么也不想去思考和考量……只想在心里默说：“hey！congratulations！happy graduation！” 还有，加油！未来的路，还远着呢！不管遇见什么好的或不好的，记得，笑！给自己做一个最好的自己！还有，献上一个最真诚开心的笑容给他们看。=）
Senior，恭喜毕业了！还有，谢谢你们一路走来给我的指点和疼爱。谁在我脑海里，我比谁都清楚知道，更知道你们曾经给我的帮忙，劝告和分享。
如果早知是这么一回事……我就应该用室友当借口，因此去那里走一趟，看看一下……
（ 其实，我只想和我脑海里的他们，拍一张照片，为自己放上网络，标记一个可贵的故事……算了。 ）
不停地询问和关心就是衡量着你多么在乎吗？
刚才上传了一张薏米凉茶的照片，我是这么想的，我也是这么些的……我说：就知道，眼睛告诉我说，今天有一些小的好东西会发生… 终于发生等到了……薏米凉茶！这应该是我最后几个月的福分吃到路边无意间捡来的好东西了…谢谢！！！好吃好喝！！！
有人这么问，那么容易满足？我说，朋友…… 人的心可以很大，也可以很小，看你自己要一个怎样的心。当你嫌弃自己破烂的鞋子，羡慕着别人有一双漂亮的鞋子的时候，这世界上还有人没有脚可以走路。有些人，可能要吃都吃不到咯！哇哈哈！但是，我有。
我本身是相信自己直觉的人，尤其是我的眼睛。不是仅仅因为我看得，反而眼眉跳的玩意，对我来说，真的太准确的。有些人说是因为我劳累，生活作息不统一健康的关系。也有些人说是自己的疑心病，觉得它准就是准，这像是地心引力法则一样。你相信，或许因为你努力就会发生，或许因为你的努力而它真的不发生。
Erm …… 就看你自己如何看待！没有对错之分！笑！
生活上，常常一些小东西，我总看见很多体验和故事。或许是我想象力里太丰富，也或许是我想太多了。一份礼物的筹备和筹备人过程的话可以评价了这礼物的价值，这是我的想法。就算礼物在眼前了，你有，我有，大家有……总是看见不一样的东西和感觉。
有些人，让我看到，不停地询问和关心就是衡量着你多么在乎吗？不过问就表示不在意？我的嘴角笑了。我很感触，这一幕幕触动我的心和想法。我说……你留了多少时间给别人，别人就收下多少时间给你。静下这一秒，问问你自己，你把多少自己的时间给了别人？
或许别人只是发泄当下的情绪，我却把别人想坏了。
想想一下，你把多少时间给了自己？又把多少时间给了别人？ 有些人，不许你要求，早就预定把时间给你。有些人，就算你开口要求了，也在可以选择之下把时间给了别人。这就是所谓的不同。你看到不同了吗？
我觉得自己很小气很小气。我比任何人还清楚自己的性格与个性，一旦我要做了决定，谁也难以说服和改变我的决心。那天起，我说我放下了，我说我不理了，我说我累了，我说我不要……我就真的不奢求再要了。
突然觉得自己很孩子气，像孩子一样，不要和你好或不要和你玩的心态一样。或许是吧！我就是孩子气！我就是小家子气！但，我比谁都知道过去的那种随时守候 stand by 的预待感，都从来不推搪的准备，多么劳累……我不怕吃苦劳累，最痛的是，从来没有被放在心上，从不像你把他人放在心重要和预待……
我记得那一幕，我记得那个感觉，在你眼前说着他们的故事，我听着，我笑着……当我说起我的故事的时候，虽然你不在故事中，就像我缺席你的故事一样，你们那股傻眼，说不知道我在说什么和不认识我故事当中的主人翁，那瞬间的白眼和翻身，就算只有几秒……还有你们的结伴和计划，我听着和知道着，最后礼貌上的邀请让我感觉的施舍……心，多疼，多难受……
没人懂，我也不想有人懂。虽然你们都说，我不会参与，甚至说我偏重其他……参不参与在于被邀请人的回复，不是邀请人的决定……邀不邀请不在于被邀人的决定，也是邀请人的抉择……有想过吗？为什么别人总不把时间分给你？为什么别人总把时间给了他人而不是你？
我承认……当我把时间预备给你们的时候，我感觉我从不被珍惜，就连开口要求都变成乞求的错觉感……我能怎样？继续候命？还是选择让自己过好一些和好过一些？只能说，就像妈妈说的，人和人之间还是需要一些缘分的牵连，或许缘尽了，无缘，缘分到此。
心，始终还是偏向一边的。我，还是选择离席，如果我感觉不到自己的存在感和开心。对不起。我小气，我幼稚。但是，放心，你们继续，也不用担心我，我会过的好好的。 =）
我真的要不起……我也不要了……对不起。我，离席。
有人这么问，那么容易满足？我说，朋友…… 人的心可以很大，也可以很小，看你自己要一个怎样的心。当你嫌弃自己破烂的鞋子，羡慕着别人有一双漂亮的鞋子的时候，这世界上还有人没有脚可以走路。有些人，可能要吃都吃不到咯！哇哈哈！但是，我有。
我本身是相信自己直觉的人，尤其是我的眼睛。不是仅仅因为我看得，反而眼眉跳的玩意，对我来说，真的太准确的。有些人说是因为我劳累，生活作息不统一健康的关系。也有些人说是自己的疑心病，觉得它准就是准，这像是地心引力法则一样。你相信，或许因为你努力就会发生，或许因为你的努力而它真的不发生。
Erm …… 就看你自己如何看待！没有对错之分！笑！
生活上，常常一些小东西，我总看见很多体验和故事。或许是我想象力里太丰富，也或许是我想太多了。一份礼物的筹备和筹备人过程的话可以评价了这礼物的价值，这是我的想法。就算礼物在眼前了，你有，我有，大家有……总是看见不一样的东西和感觉。
有些人，让我看到，不停地询问和关心就是衡量着你多么在乎吗？不过问就表示不在意？我的嘴角笑了。我很感触，这一幕幕触动我的心和想法。我说……你留了多少时间给别人，别人就收下多少时间给你。静下这一秒，问问你自己，你把多少自己的时间给了别人？
或许别人只是发泄当下的情绪，我却把别人想坏了。
想想一下，你把多少时间给了自己？又把多少时间给了别人？ 有些人，不许你要求，早就预定把时间给你。有些人，就算你开口要求了，也在可以选择之下把时间给了别人。这就是所谓的不同。你看到不同了吗？
我觉得自己很小气很小气。我比任何人还清楚自己的性格与个性，一旦我要做了决定，谁也难以说服和改变我的决心。那天起，我说我放下了，我说我不理了，我说我累了，我说我不要……我就真的不奢求再要了。
突然觉得自己很孩子气，像孩子一样，不要和你好或不要和你玩的心态一样。或许是吧！我就是孩子气！我就是小家子气！但，我比谁都知道过去的那种随时守候 stand by 的预待感，都从来不推搪的准备，多么劳累……我不怕吃苦劳累，最痛的是，从来没有被放在心上，从不像你把他人放在心重要和预待……
我记得那一幕，我记得那个感觉，在你眼前说着他们的故事，我听着，我笑着……当我说起我的故事的时候，虽然你不在故事中，就像我缺席你的故事一样，你们那股傻眼，说不知道我在说什么和不认识我故事当中的主人翁，那瞬间的白眼和翻身，就算只有几秒……还有你们的结伴和计划，我听着和知道着，最后礼貌上的邀请让我感觉的施舍……心，多疼，多难受……
没人懂，我也不想有人懂。虽然你们都说，我不会参与，甚至说我偏重其他……参不参与在于被邀请人的回复，不是邀请人的决定……邀不邀请不在于被邀人的决定，也是邀请人的抉择……有想过吗？为什么别人总不把时间分给你？为什么别人总把时间给了他人而不是你？
我承认……当我把时间预备给你们的时候，我感觉我从不被珍惜，就连开口要求都变成乞求的错觉感……我能怎样？继续候命？还是选择让自己过好一些和好过一些？只能说，就像妈妈说的，人和人之间还是需要一些缘分的牵连，或许缘尽了，无缘，缘分到此。
心，始终还是偏向一边的。我，还是选择离席，如果我感觉不到自己的存在感和开心。对不起。我小气，我幼稚。但是，放心，你们继续，也不用担心我，我会过的好好的。 =）
我真的要不起……我也不要了……对不起。我，离席。
Thursday, October 9, 2014
有力量的语言
爱不是生日蛋糕，越切越少。
爱是生日蛋糕上的火焰，越给越多。
一个后父说的话：
不幸家庭的孩子是无辜的，可怜的，给我带回来的，都是我的责任。
最有力量的语言不是一味向前冲，
而是像打拳一样，收回来再放出去，这样可能才最有力量。
闭嘴，不是沉默寡言，
而是把我们额度耳朵打开，把我们的心打开，自信就在我的身上，从来没有这么强大过。
当我在打开口说话的时候，我应该做到保持个性，张弛有度，进退有序，不失自然。
我认为，这就是最有力量的语言。
人，不是靠某一种方式去赢得什么，而是靠自己的个性的魅力。
会说话不重要，
重要的是，你敢不敢说话，敢不敢说你内心真正想说的话。
人生有很多起伏转折：
起伏的时候需要一些坚持，
转折的时候需要一些顺意。
人不应该去找借口，去照自己认为正确的做就好了。
放慢你的脚步，等一等你的灵魂。
咬牙站立的那一天，就注定了不平凡，
哪怕一句简单的问候，都是一种力量。
爱是生日蛋糕上的火焰，越给越多。
一个后父说的话：
不幸家庭的孩子是无辜的，可怜的，给我带回来的，都是我的责任。
最有力量的语言不是一味向前冲，
而是像打拳一样，收回来再放出去，这样可能才最有力量。
闭嘴，不是沉默寡言，
而是把我们额度耳朵打开，把我们的心打开，自信就在我的身上，从来没有这么强大过。
当我在打开口说话的时候，我应该做到保持个性，张弛有度，进退有序，不失自然。
我认为，这就是最有力量的语言。
人，不是靠某一种方式去赢得什么，而是靠自己的个性的魅力。
会说话不重要，
重要的是，你敢不敢说话，敢不敢说你内心真正想说的话。
人生有很多起伏转折：
起伏的时候需要一些坚持，
转折的时候需要一些顺意。
人不应该去找借口，去照自己认为正确的做就好了。
放慢你的脚步，等一等你的灵魂。
咬牙站立的那一天，就注定了不平凡，
哪怕一句简单的问候，都是一种力量。
About choices, decision and understanding. To be or not to be?
Life is full of choices. Depend on how u going to choose and be a ur decison maker. By the way, this come a question in the mind, try to think it now, who will always stand on ur shoes and support ur decision before u request the understanding from them?
Well, for my view, it is a good question!
People who know me, they know I'm hard to make decision even my leader highlight "make decision is a challenge for a leader which he/she needs to do it so". Throwback all the times that i have been went through, I'm always be good and listen the heart from others, then try to achieve it, not for others but also for myself.
There is a promise which i almost forget about it. Now, it is what we work hard on it to make it come true. Life is a no end cycle, it keep on repeat, but different and special for everyday, such as the obstacle that we meet in life. The more the difficult it is, the high the value it is, it mean the more the feeling and experience we gain at the end. So, think positive and find out the plus point on every incident. Life is about to create miracle.
I'm going a big program before I graduate and end my university life. Honestly, I do not know why I insist on it non matter what ad-hoc problem keep on happen to block the way. The date of the program keep on changing from september to actober, october to november... End up, we have no choice and move it to november and the date is exactly crash on the trip that i promise my friends for one year ago.
Actually, I'm sad on it. Not only because I break the promise and can't have a vacation with my friends although some of them can understand my situation, moreover I know I cant put away this program just because of the trip and friends. I not dare to tell my real feeling to anyone, but i told my mom about this before. She ask me think on which one is more important and I still can go travelling anytime as i want in life. Ya, she is right. I know which decision i should make. And, actually i know where i should go before i ask her. May be i just need a talk.
I'm sad because I break one of the promise for myself. How long i have looking for it? May be only I'm the one who know it. I like to run here and there to somewhere that i never step in before. To see something new, to try something new, to feel somethng new, to extend my mind and heart. After i graduated, do i have time to do that so?
Sure, i can. But, no, i not think so. Just ignore me, because emotion is disturbing my mind now.
Until now, the program is not fully well solved, but we still work very hard for it. I'm the first one who break the promise and can't go for the trip. It is followed by my friends. I'm not clear on their situation now, may be they have something to bother them as well, so they are forced to absent in the trip like me.
All expenses of the trip are still shared together for those who going or not going for the trip. I can understand the reason behide the story when i receive the message from my friends. Well, who understand what im thinking now? i smile on this when this question come to my mind.
Life is full of choices. Non matter what decision u have made, u need to carry the responsibility for it until the end. This is what i know.
For a person who can understand others well. To be or not to be? For u who is reading this article, which one u will choose? To be the one who understand others? Or u perfer not to be the one who understand others and u are requesting other to understand u?
Althought im hoping for something, may be just a talking moment or understanding, but im not going to request it. Take it easy. Life still on. Sure u gain something which is out of ur expectation on the way. Smile.
Well, for my view, it is a good question!
People who know me, they know I'm hard to make decision even my leader highlight "make decision is a challenge for a leader which he/she needs to do it so". Throwback all the times that i have been went through, I'm always be good and listen the heart from others, then try to achieve it, not for others but also for myself.
There is a promise which i almost forget about it. Now, it is what we work hard on it to make it come true. Life is a no end cycle, it keep on repeat, but different and special for everyday, such as the obstacle that we meet in life. The more the difficult it is, the high the value it is, it mean the more the feeling and experience we gain at the end. So, think positive and find out the plus point on every incident. Life is about to create miracle.
I'm going a big program before I graduate and end my university life. Honestly, I do not know why I insist on it non matter what ad-hoc problem keep on happen to block the way. The date of the program keep on changing from september to actober, october to november... End up, we have no choice and move it to november and the date is exactly crash on the trip that i promise my friends for one year ago.
Actually, I'm sad on it. Not only because I break the promise and can't have a vacation with my friends although some of them can understand my situation, moreover I know I cant put away this program just because of the trip and friends. I not dare to tell my real feeling to anyone, but i told my mom about this before. She ask me think on which one is more important and I still can go travelling anytime as i want in life. Ya, she is right. I know which decision i should make. And, actually i know where i should go before i ask her. May be i just need a talk.
I'm sad because I break one of the promise for myself. How long i have looking for it? May be only I'm the one who know it. I like to run here and there to somewhere that i never step in before. To see something new, to try something new, to feel somethng new, to extend my mind and heart. After i graduated, do i have time to do that so?
Sure, i can. But, no, i not think so. Just ignore me, because emotion is disturbing my mind now.
Until now, the program is not fully well solved, but we still work very hard for it. I'm the first one who break the promise and can't go for the trip. It is followed by my friends. I'm not clear on their situation now, may be they have something to bother them as well, so they are forced to absent in the trip like me.
All expenses of the trip are still shared together for those who going or not going for the trip. I can understand the reason behide the story when i receive the message from my friends. Well, who understand what im thinking now? i smile on this when this question come to my mind.
Life is full of choices. Non matter what decision u have made, u need to carry the responsibility for it until the end. This is what i know.
For a person who can understand others well. To be or not to be? For u who is reading this article, which one u will choose? To be the one who understand others? Or u perfer not to be the one who understand others and u are requesting other to understand u?
Althought im hoping for something, may be just a talking moment or understanding, but im not going to request it. Take it easy. Life still on. Sure u gain something which is out of ur expectation on the way. Smile.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
钟瑾桦的重要
爱上一首歌，很简单，却不容易。
可以是因为它的音乐，可以是因为它的次，
可以是因为它的旋律，也可以是因为它和你相同的经历。
这一次，我真的真的真的爱上了……
因为这一句和它的旋律，无意间的第一次听到，我就真的爱上这首歌。
可以是因为它的音乐，可以是因为它的次，
可以是因为它的旋律，也可以是因为它和你相同的经历。
这一次，我真的真的真的爱上了……
因为这一句和它的旋律，无意间的第一次听到，我就真的爱上这首歌。
一份礼物的筹备和筹备人过程的话可以评价了这礼物的价值
我很喜欢写部落格，就像把故事告诉别人一样，一种分享开心的事。我很喜欢听故事，因为你总会在故事中的主人翁身上学会一些事宜。我很喜欢记录自己的故事，因为我觉得生活都是无法阻止地一直重复，但是我相信当中总会有它自己的特别之处，其他天是无法代和拥有的。
有一个朋友很好，他好像真的知道我的事，也建议我用英文代写部落，这样也可以增进我的英文语法。虽然我还是觉得这方法不怎么管用，因为就算自己语法犯错了而无法有效知道自己错在哪里和如何进步……但是，它还是有它的进步，我相信着。笑。
今天，身边看到了一个故事。我是一个苦笑不得的旁观者。我觉得很感触，可笑，心酸，可悲，窝心，简直是五味杂呈，这是事实的味道，不知道这该归纳成好事或坏事。看着看着，这让我想到一个故事。
女孩买了条裤子，一试太长，请奶奶帮忙剪短，奶奶说忙；找妈妈，也没空；找姐姐，更没空。女孩失望地入睡了。奶奶忙完家务想起小孙女的裤子，就把裤子剪短了一点；姐姐回来又把裤子剪短了；妈妈回来也把裤子剪短了，最后裤子没法穿了。
这告诉了我，管理的弊端就在于：要么都不管，要么都来管！
我说，如果早就知道和预算到问题，何必当初不直追过问？对吗？如果你说你在早期就提出问题，却没有人放在心上给予回复，那么请问为什么你不一直追问？在此刻却看见你说，你很早之前就提出了，却只说很伤心没有收到回复，太迟而现在没有办法有效解决……如今要把责任推向谁？是你没有继续追问？还是别人不小心遗忘？或是两者都有责任？
心，始终还是偏向一边的。
不过，我觉得这是值得高兴的事。因为这是正常的事，不变的事实，也意味了没有意外。如果心不是偏向一边，或许这个人就生病了。一份礼物的筹备和筹备人过程的话，可以评价了这礼物的价值。给我，礼物不是只是看到别人需要的，同时也是看到你对他人认识和了解所想给别人的礼物。
不同的人，待遇和真诚相差如此的遥远。这让我感觉心突然的颤抖。朋友之间真的有priority的排行吗？我不想认同，但是环境让我同意了。如果真的是这样的话，如果要他人把自己放在心底的优先权，是不是就永远不是给朋友的预定的？
礼物这玩意，给我，真的要打入心里窝心，就是最好的礼物了。
这让我想起好几份我曾经有的窝心的礼物……谢谢带我去吃饭和煮饭给我吃的人，谢谢带我去玩的人，谢谢常和我分享和教会我事情的人，谢谢现在在我脑海出现的人。不是因为他们，我感觉自己渺小可悲。因为你们，我感觉我自己是幸福幸运的。谢谢疼惜我的每一个人。谢谢。真的。我打从心底感谢把我捧在手掌真心疼我的人。
有一个朋友很好，他好像真的知道我的事，也建议我用英文代写部落，这样也可以增进我的英文语法。虽然我还是觉得这方法不怎么管用，因为就算自己语法犯错了而无法有效知道自己错在哪里和如何进步……但是，它还是有它的进步，我相信着。笑。
今天，身边看到了一个故事。我是一个苦笑不得的旁观者。我觉得很感触，可笑，心酸，可悲，窝心，简直是五味杂呈，这是事实的味道，不知道这该归纳成好事或坏事。看着看着，这让我想到一个故事。
女孩买了条裤子，一试太长，请奶奶帮忙剪短，奶奶说忙；找妈妈，也没空；找姐姐，更没空。女孩失望地入睡了。奶奶忙完家务想起小孙女的裤子，就把裤子剪短了一点；姐姐回来又把裤子剪短了；妈妈回来也把裤子剪短了，最后裤子没法穿了。
这告诉了我，管理的弊端就在于：要么都不管，要么都来管！
我说，如果早就知道和预算到问题，何必当初不直追过问？对吗？如果你说你在早期就提出问题，却没有人放在心上给予回复，那么请问为什么你不一直追问？在此刻却看见你说，你很早之前就提出了，却只说很伤心没有收到回复，太迟而现在没有办法有效解决……如今要把责任推向谁？是你没有继续追问？还是别人不小心遗忘？或是两者都有责任？
心，始终还是偏向一边的。
不过，我觉得这是值得高兴的事。因为这是正常的事，不变的事实，也意味了没有意外。如果心不是偏向一边，或许这个人就生病了。一份礼物的筹备和筹备人过程的话，可以评价了这礼物的价值。给我，礼物不是只是看到别人需要的，同时也是看到你对他人认识和了解所想给别人的礼物。
不同的人，待遇和真诚相差如此的遥远。这让我感觉心突然的颤抖。朋友之间真的有priority的排行吗？我不想认同，但是环境让我同意了。如果真的是这样的话，如果要他人把自己放在心底的优先权，是不是就永远不是给朋友的预定的？
礼物这玩意，给我，真的要打入心里窝心，就是最好的礼物了。
这让我想起好几份我曾经有的窝心的礼物……谢谢带我去吃饭和煮饭给我吃的人，谢谢带我去玩的人，谢谢常和我分享和教会我事情的人，谢谢现在在我脑海出现的人。不是因为他们，我感觉自己渺小可悲。因为你们，我感觉我自己是幸福幸运的。谢谢疼惜我的每一个人。谢谢。真的。我打从心底感谢把我捧在手掌真心疼我的人。
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
stress
I know myself more than anyone. If the air here is different, as long as it is safe and no poison. Because u still can breathe. And, u still alive and able to stand on the earth.
I can't stressing myself. I will panic and screw up everything. I always tell myself to turn it to another view, take it as a game. Everyone want to be the only winner, including me, but there is only one winner in the game. What u can do? u can restart the game if u can't win in this round. U will win once time in the end.
Because of this, I always make better than what I worried. Oxygen here is really different, I feel hard to breathe. No mood to eat or drink. Headache. Over stressed.
I also can't smile for few second, even it is for myself. I hate this feeling. Can u make me a smile and tell me everything will be ok? and let me believe I can do it, can u?
I can't stressing myself. I will panic and screw up everything. I always tell myself to turn it to another view, take it as a game. Everyone want to be the only winner, including me, but there is only one winner in the game. What u can do? u can restart the game if u can't win in this round. U will win once time in the end.
Because of this, I always make better than what I worried. Oxygen here is really different, I feel hard to breathe. No mood to eat or drink. Headache. Over stressed.
I also can't smile for few second, even it is for myself. I hate this feeling. Can u make me a smile and tell me everything will be ok? and let me believe I can do it, can u?
Friday, October 3, 2014
Time flies so fast
Time flies so fast. Today, i walk to ticket shop to buy ticket for going back home in this weekend. After my room mate and i bought the ticket, we have our dinner in the mamak stall which is near to the ticket shop.
I saw one group of junior was there to have their dinner. They occupied 3 table, around 10 people. It remind me how my university life was during my first year study. I just liked them before this, we always had our dinner here, the dinner date was set around once per week. But, now, it seen like different, life has changed. Only my room mate and I, two people are here to have our dinner.
Suddenly, i feel my heart is touched when I saw this screen in front of me. It make me feel "time is flying". Same environment and place, but the different is the person who beside u right now. It also remind me how sad i should be, from a group of people and now it turns become only me is here.
Friendship and relationship can be so strong or fragile.
After I return to my room, my room mate mentions to me how close the junior is when she saw their photo in facebook. Yes. Relationship among junior is strong enough as we can see. They share their assignment and information, they also can go out for a date or trip in a group of 10-30 people. My room mate ask me, how about us? She and I feel our batch is shameful. A question comes out in our mind, why we can do this and just like junior?
Well, I don't know.
I told my room mate, everything need someone be the starter to start it, then other only may follow, believe and maintain it. Well, may be senior are selfish, not generous and forget about the theory of sharing is caring.
This incident let me think of those who said I'm fierce. It is just because of I'm too serious and forget to smile at the moment when I was busying in my assignment. Actually, I;m not angry or in bad emotion if I'm not smiling. It means nothing if no any face expression on face, it can be in serious mood to figure out a solution for certain problem.
Does it mean a person who always like to smile and laugh is not allowed to has other emotion or expression rather than that? Erm...
Get back to the question. Does it is the fault of the person who too serious and forget to smile at the moment? or it should be the responsibility of the people that we should ask for understanding other? There is a a smiley face is painted on clown's face . And, does it mean the clown is always happy? Then, what it means for the painted tear on the clown's face as well? So, can the clown feel sad or cry on the smiley face?
Actually, I'm too stress at that moment when I lost idea in my assignment. It is very common, right?Wahaha. I'm sorry that I forget to smile and I know I look bad without a smile. I have to make a change on it and I know. I will try my best.
Life, is about understanding and the fate that tie on us by god. Just be the good of urself. Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than anything.
I saw one group of junior was there to have their dinner. They occupied 3 table, around 10 people. It remind me how my university life was during my first year study. I just liked them before this, we always had our dinner here, the dinner date was set around once per week. But, now, it seen like different, life has changed. Only my room mate and I, two people are here to have our dinner.
Suddenly, i feel my heart is touched when I saw this screen in front of me. It make me feel "time is flying". Same environment and place, but the different is the person who beside u right now. It also remind me how sad i should be, from a group of people and now it turns become only me is here.
Friendship and relationship can be so strong or fragile.
After I return to my room, my room mate mentions to me how close the junior is when she saw their photo in facebook. Yes. Relationship among junior is strong enough as we can see. They share their assignment and information, they also can go out for a date or trip in a group of 10-30 people. My room mate ask me, how about us? She and I feel our batch is shameful. A question comes out in our mind, why we can do this and just like junior?
Well, I don't know.
I told my room mate, everything need someone be the starter to start it, then other only may follow, believe and maintain it. Well, may be senior are selfish, not generous and forget about the theory of sharing is caring.
This incident let me think of those who said I'm fierce. It is just because of I'm too serious and forget to smile at the moment when I was busying in my assignment. Actually, I;m not angry or in bad emotion if I'm not smiling. It means nothing if no any face expression on face, it can be in serious mood to figure out a solution for certain problem.
Does it mean a person who always like to smile and laugh is not allowed to has other emotion or expression rather than that? Erm...
Get back to the question. Does it is the fault of the person who too serious and forget to smile at the moment? or it should be the responsibility of the people that we should ask for understanding other? There is a a smiley face is painted on clown's face . And, does it mean the clown is always happy? Then, what it means for the painted tear on the clown's face as well? So, can the clown feel sad or cry on the smiley face?
Actually, I'm too stress at that moment when I lost idea in my assignment. It is very common, right?Wahaha. I'm sorry that I forget to smile and I know I look bad without a smile. I have to make a change on it and I know. I will try my best.
Life, is about understanding and the fate that tie on us by god. Just be the good of urself. Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than anything.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
BELIEVE, The best feeling ever
The best feeling is, u are not fighting alone, u are not stand alone at the road side and u still can talk. And, u strongly believe on what u are believing. And, u achieve it and prove it to the world.
The belief that I can only build a better future, if I make good use of the present.
*The best feeling ever*
The belief that I can only build a better future, if I make good use of the present.
*The best feeling ever*
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
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